


Treble in Paradise

by SDBookFan



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Asexual Hunk (Voltron), Asexual Shay, F/F, F/M, Irish Dance AU, M/M, Trans Pidge | Katie Holt, demigirl Pidge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-11-23 00:23:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11391504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SDBookFan/pseuds/SDBookFan
Summary: When your groups are too gay to function, group chats get interesting. Irish Dance AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually my sister's work, because she's too lazy to get an account. So I agreed to post it for her. Also if you have any questions about Irish Dance, we're willing to answer them.

_**Group chat: TAMPON CRAMPON** _

  
**BlueBalls:** katie why the fuck is that still the chat name

**CrystalDealer:** no hoe named blue balls can judge me

**BlueBalls:** stfu u lil SHART. who even named me this

**ActuallyJesus™:** definitely not me I'm gods gift to man

**BlueBalls:** change it baaack. when we made you admin I never expected u to be a snake like this

**ActuallyJesus™:** Fine

**_ActuallyJesus™ has changed BlueBall's name to: un-bi-lievable_ **

**un-bi-lievable:** ah yes my true form is revealed

**CrystalDealer:** bitch don't lie ur true form is a bad 2007 meme

**un-bi-lievable:** fuck u

**ActuallyJesus™:** Hey both of you r going to the x mas feis right?

**CrystalDealer:** who the fuq doesn't

**un-bi-lievable:** dancers with no soul. Like that asshole Keith

**ActuallyJesus™:** here we go again

**un-bi-lievable:** I don't complain about him that much

**CrystalDealer:** the screenshots on my camera roll say otherwise

**un-bi-lievable:** fine I'll drop the subject u gremlin

**CrystalDealer:** thank Jesus

**ActuallyJesus™:** ur welcome. Also am I still taking u both to class?

**un-bi-lievable:** hell yeah

**CrystalDealer:** can we buy some tampons on the way?

**un-bi-lievable:** NOT THE FUQING TAMPONS AGAIN

**ActuallyJesus:** yeah we can get tampons

**CrystalDealer:** heel yeah respect my fukin ovaries u unpopped blister

**un-bi-lievable:** BOI

 

_**Group Chat: Satan is my sugar daddy** _

 

**#1Orphan:** where the fuck are the goddamn band aids

**Dad:** next to the duct tape

**#1Orphan:** well where the fuck is the duct tape

**Dad:** I don't know

**#1Orphan:** why the fuck would u tell me it's by the duct tape if u don't know where the fucking duct tape is  
  
**Better Dad:** Keith it's in the drawer below the sink

**#1Orphan:** this is why takashi is better dad, matt

**Dad:** o no

**Dad:** I angered the kitten

**Dad:** what do I do.

**Dad:** guess my big strong boyfriend will have to

**Dad:** save me

**#1Orphan:** fuq u I'm not a kitten

**Dad:** stfu I wanna cuddle with my boyfriend

**Better Dad:** done, I'll be there is five

**#1Orphan:** no being gay in the group chat

**Better Dad:** Keith ur literally the gayest one here

**#1Orphan:** yes but I'm a socially awkward meme-fuck who will never get a boyfriend

_**Dad named the Group Chat: socially awkward meme-fuck**_  
  
**#1Orphan:** I appreciate that you find my self depreciating humor funny, but I can't let go of the old chat name

_**#1Orphan changed #1Orphan's name to: Satan's Sugar Baby** _

**Better Dad:** what happened to never getting a boyfriend

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** takashi u were the one who said Satan was ur sugar daddy, I'm just keepin the meme alive

**Dad:** the most loyal of causes

**Dad:** also everyone knows I'm shiros sugar daddy

**Better Dad:** babe ur broke as fuck

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** aren't we all

**Dad:** bitch I work for blizzard I'm not broke


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just to let you all know, my sister is thrilled by the response she's gotten. She was all but giddy when she saw the comments.

_**Group Chat: socially awkward meme-fuck** _

 

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** yall™

**Better Dad:** wat

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** I think I made a frend at dance? Not sure?

**Dad:** how the fuc r u not sure

**Better Dad:** babe I love you but shut up this is important

**Better Dad:** tell us everything

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** this new girl just moved from Britain

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** she's in my class and her names Allura

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** we just talked about how gay we r and apparently she's got a super cool uncle

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** we bonded over our lack of parentals

**Dad:** luv me sum good bonding moments

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** fuck yeah

**Dad:** she sounds cool. Did U exchange numbers

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** I got hers but I left my phone at home so I said I'd text her when I got home

**Dad:** lol failure

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** shut up, takashi can I add her to the gc?

**Dad:** yeah babe you've been quiet u ok

**Better Dad:** IM LEGIT CRYING MY LITTLE BABY KITTEN COUSIN MADE A FRIEND AND I DIDNT HAVE TO FORCE HIM TOO

**Better Dad:** SATAN AND GOD ARE REAL AND THEYRE BOTH MY SUGAR DADDIES

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** can I add her to the gc or not

**Better Dad:** u fukin better

_**Satan's Sugar Baby added FemmePrincess to socially awkward meme-fuck** _

**FemmePrincess:** Keith what the actual fuck

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** I know the gc name is weird don't ask

**FemmePrincess:** no see that makes sense but wtf are theses names

**FemmePrincess:** I have the only good one and I get why but..

**Better Dad:** so many memes pls don't ask

**Better Dad:** Also I'm Keith's cousin and dad and I want you to know that you're his first friend in 17 years (not counting my boyfriends sister Katie)

**Dad:** and they only met once

**Dad:** also I'm Matt, shiros boyfriend

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** I hate my family why did I think it was a good idea to add u to this gc

**FemmePrincess:** no my sweet smol son, let them speak the truth

**FemmePrincess:** literally the first thing you said when I came up to talk to you was, "I'm a raging homosexual so if u homophobic than get ur ass on the other side of the floor"

**Dad:** can I make that my senior quote

**Better Dad:** babe we're both out of college

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** I hope all of u die in a fire

**FemmePrincess:** who will you talk to about gay shit with at dance when ur alone and gay in the closet/haunted bathroom

**Dad:** who will watch weird documentaries on Netflix with you

**Better Dad:** who the fuck will make sure you dont vomit all day because u wanted a milkshake

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** dammit having 3 1/2 friends has made me too dependent

**FemmePrincess:** who the hell is the half

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** Katie

  
  
_One Hour Later_

 

**Better Dad:** wait what the fuck did Allura mean when the said ur alone and gay in the haunted bathroom at dance

**FemmePrincess:** fukin Siobhan

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** Siobhan the little bitch

**Dad:** wow, so informative


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter! Also everyone who has commented is amazing, and both my sister and I really, really appreciate you

_**Group Chat: TAMPON CRAMPON** _

 

**un-bi-lievable:** u know I came to the gc today wanting to talk about how much I hate Mr. Iversons' endurance but then I read the gc name and I just

**CrystalDealer:** who the hell cares I want a girlfriend

**ActuallyJesus™:** can't relate

**CrystalDealer:** just cuz u and shay are the ace cuddle buddie relationship goal supreme don't mean u gotta brag

**un-bi-lievable:** shay is great tho

**CrystalDealer:** shay is a godsend and a goddess so why is she not on this goddam group chat

**ActuallyJesus™:** dunno but I'm adding her

 

_**ActuallyJesus™ added BestHuman to TAMPON CRAMPON** _

 

**un-bi-lievable:** Shay welcome to the land of memes and suffering

**BestHuman:** I don't know how this group chat name come into existence but I love it

**CrystalDealer:** hah ur outnumbered lance the name stays

**CrystalDealer:** this is why shay is best human

**ActuallyJesus™:** agreed

**un-bi-lievable:** fine the guess I'll just have to post that video of you and Katie at that one feis in that practice room

**CrystalDealer:** Not STRIPPOCALYPSE 2016

**ActuallyJesus™:** u wouldn't

**un-bi-lievable:** Instagram would luv it

 

_**ActuallyJesus™ changed the Group Chat name to: so much regret** _

 

**BestHuman:** I don't want to know

**ActuallyJesus™:** trust me u really don't

 

_**Private Message: CrystalDealer to Satan's Sugar Baby** _

 

**CrystalDealer:** r u coming to the Christmas feis

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** who fukin doesn't

**CrystalDealer:** just making sure. We should meet up

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** sure. I can introduce you to my friend

**CrystalDealer:** Keith you don't have to pretend u have friends I know ur life

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** fuk u she's a hot and single femme lesbian

**CrystalDealer:** have i ever mentioned how much I appreciate u

**Satan's Sugar Baby:** u could stand to do so more often


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I had to take the GRE, which meant that I totally forgot anything else existed. My sister has written more chapters though, so there should be semi-regular updates for awhile. Also Keith's galactosemia is loosely based on my sister's, albeit slightly more serious.

_**Group Chat: socially awkward meme-fuck** _

 

 **Satan's Sugar Baby:** I have so many regrets

 **FemmePrincess:** I tried to stop him

 **FemmePrincess:** he wouldn't listen

 **Better Dad:** Keith what the fuck did u do this time

 **Satan's Sugar Baby:** ok so

 **Satan's Sugar Baby:** premier group just started up again and lura got invited

 **Satan's Sugar Baby:** miss A. had us do endurance and we were so dead after class that we decided to go to in n out

 **FemmePrincess:** I now understand why in n out is the one true religion of California

 **Dad:** and some parts of Arizona but whatever

 **Better Dad:** Keith pls tell me u didn't get s milkshake

 **Satan's Sugar Baby:** ok nevermind I no longer have a story to share

 **Better Dad:** goddammit

 **Satan's Sugar Baby:** don't worry I used ferbereze so I doesn't smell like vomit in the apartment

 **Dad:** Keith it's frebreze

 **Satan's Sugar Baby:** stfu dad no one cares

 **FemmePrincess:** can someone explain why he's ralphin tho cuz I thought lactose intolerant just meant u got a stomach ache

 **Better Dad:** oh Keith's not lactose intolerant

 **Better Dad:** HE HAS A FUQIN LIVER DISEASE

 **FemmePrincess:** WHAT

 **Satan's Sugar Baby:** u make it sound like a big deal

 **Satan's Sugar Baby:** I just get a shit ton of blood draws and can't take straight dairy products w/out getting violently ill

 **Dad:** like u ever take anything straight

 

_**Group Chat: so much regret** _

 

 **CrystalDealer:** all these ghosts

 **CrystalDealer:** all these ghosts

 **CrystalDealer:** AND MY BUDDY KEITH MIGHT HAVE FOUND ME A BOO

 **un-bi-lievable:** since when the dick r u and that cold French fry friends

 **ActuallyJesus™:** who cares our girl might get a girl

 **BestHuman:** Congrats Katie! Who is she

 **CrystalDealer:** apparently some hot single lesbian just befriended Keith and they'll be at the feis

 **CrystalDealer:** we're gonna meet up and u guys should come with

 **ActuallyJesus™:** of course, always up for making new friends

 **un-bi-lievable:** really living up to that name hunky BOI

 **BestHuman:** please never refer to hunk as hunky BOI ever again. I think I'm scarred for life


End file.
